This is my first post, and no, I will never decorate this page.
This is what started me writing. Here you go –
The other day, I got into this weird conversation in the sauna of our gym. Well, the other day is a memorable day. Or, at least, we should remember the day for a very long time. It was Sep 27, 2018.
It was, as Dickens puts it, the best of times and the worst of times. An ordinary citizen decided to do her simple civic duty. She was put in front of TV cameras and millions of people started watching her, live. And, since then, millions watched the re-run. She, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, testified against the nominee for the US Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanaugh. Dr. Ford claimed that Kavanaugh committed sexual assault on her when they were in high school. The former was seen for the first time by the nation, and the world. The latter was a 120% confident candidate for what could be the highest prestige for a judge in the US (and that means, will have an immense influence in the entire world).
When the day ended, the ordinary citizen became an inspiration for goodness and courage. The super-candidate – well, we struggled to grasp – “how could he come this far?”
How could he come this far, or, how can anybody, like this, can come this far – I, perhaps, will discuss this again and again, in future. But, this post is about what stirred me so much that I had to start writing.
Back to the sauna. Two other men and myself were sitting there. A guy entered, and said, “are you seeing this thing on TV? This is just funny! I mean, this woman comes back after 40 years and started talking about things.” A discussion started. A second guy chimed in, well, kind of in an approving way. The third guy started nodding and smiling. It did not take long to get them all to the consensus. “yeah, what this lady is talking and thinking is a joke!” This went on for some time.
I had no enthusiasm to chime in. It was early in the morning (in California). I just finished my 2.5 km-Ironman paced swimming. And, I have to go to office, and start the day. Plus, I must confess, if I am put into Granovetter’s “Threshold model”, I will be a person on the highest threshold scale. I will not nudge unless really, really, really needed.
In this case, after a couple of minutes, I could not take it any more. I had to say that yes, it has been long time ago, and yes, we do not know how correct Dr. Ford is, and yes, it cannot be legally pursued as a crime now, after 36 years. However, none of these matter, if the future Supreme Court Justice, Kavanaugh, fails to empathize with Dr. Ford and/or accept the fault. (He failed. Badly.)
The guy who started the discussion immediately became defensive. He started questioning whether I am college-educated, and if I am, then I must know that these are very common. He claimed, “you do know these girls!”
By this time the other two guys became a little startled, and started getting uncomfortable.
I confirmed that I am college educated. Both me and my wife are Yale alumni. And what does he mean by “these girls”. I am sure Kavanaugh was not held at gun point by “these girls”.
At this point, the guy exclaimed, “he did not do anything. It was not even a rape!”
WHAT! I mean, WHAT?
I said, “So, if Kavanaugh attacks you with a knife. But, you succeed in saving yourself. Then, Kavanaugh can just go ahead, and become Supreme Court Justice. After all, he did not commit a murder!”
At this point, the guy became even more agitated. The other two guys were severely uncomfortable and looked like, if they could, they would make themselves invisible with the woods of sauna-wall. I left.
I was flabbergasted. I realized how Kavanaugh could go this far.
We live in the most progressive part of the San Francisco Bay Area. All the people in our gym are from the high end of affluence and, hopefully, education. And here, I experience this. From a guy in his 50s? And, two other guys in their mid-30s agreeing with him – what is wrong with us? Guys?
Have we become so spineless that we will not compromise our ‘being liked’-index, even if we have to support a crime? I mean, if we can go this far to be liked by a stranger, then how low can we go to be liked by people whom we know? By our colleagues? And, by our bosses?
I am not, at least not at this point, judging Kavanaugh. But the complete ambivalence about a crime is disturbing. Blaming a possible victim for a crime is disturbing. Agreeing with crime only to save, I suppose, a ‘concept of fraternity’ is disturbing.
We, really, can be better than this. As long as, we try not to decorate ourselves, all the time.
